Teaching as a Trust

I am trying to maintain a once-weekly entry in this blog, all that I can manage right now, so here goes (although there may be a part two, depending on energy and time.)

Two women came to class this morning, both of whom are experienced yoginis and both of whom had been to a yoga class at the gym the day before where the teacher hadn't shown up. A student took over teaching the class, and it seems to have made people uncomfortable, because they didn't feel confident in his abilities or compassion. This sparked some interesting debate today, and I am left thinking about the responsibility of a yoga teacher. A lot has already been said on this topic, some of it by me, but here are today's musings:

• A teacher should know more about her topic than her class, even if it is just a little more.
• As a teacher, you only have the authority you are freely granted. You don't get it just by standing up in front of a class!
• It is a vital and necessary task for a teacher to have her own dedicated and regular practice and to constantly learn more about yoga philosophy, anatomy, communication skills...
• Sequencing IS important, really really important. You can hurt people if you do this wrong.
• Reading the room is important, really really important. Again, if you give asanas that are not appropriate and people actually do them, or you give a bizarre sequence, things can go badly awry.
• Yoga is a sacred practice, and teaching yoga is a sacred trust. Most people who have practiced for a while begin to feel this. It is not just athletics or aerobics, and you hold that trust when you teach.

I am so grateful that there are some of you out there who are still posting comments! I probably won't respond, but if you feel so inclined, I would love to hear what you think about yoga teachers you have known, what you want from your teacher, what you want to achieve as a teacher...

It snowed!

Last night, it snowed in Johannesburg for the first time in 26 years. There is a whole generation of people who weren't born then.
The time before that was 1964, I am told.
So much for unseasonably warm winter!

These pics are of my parents' garden
(Mom I hope you don't mind, since I didn't ask permission to post them...)

The Borrower

Before I post this (borrowed) piece, I need to tell you all that Anton (the hit and run victim) is on the road to recovery, no serious injuries, and will be back at work next week. Thank you all for your thoughts!

This lovely piece comes from the Moksha newsletter, written by one of their recently graduated teacher trainees:

The Oxford Dictionary defines 'faith' as a 'strong belief or trust'.

I believe that when we practise Yoga we begin to have that strong belief, we begin to have that trust: we begin to have faith in ourselves.

It's a bit like embarking on a train journey: the moment you step from the platform onto the train you take your first step of faith. You may stop along the way, but by just beginning, by just embarking on the journey, by allowing yourself the opportunity, you move your soul towards faith.

Asana is the movement, breath is the progression and in your back pack you have the codes of conduct, yamas, nyamas, and you have sense control, pratyhara. Your interpretation of these as well the diligence with which you practise them, will determine just how much that back pack weighs. Subsequently though, the more you pack in the more you have to draw upon during the ride.

You may break up the journey or take the express. You may change trains along the way or choose to take the non-stop train allowing nothing to detract from your journey. Either way you choose to progress, faith will climb aboard with you.

Of course if you stay on the train, instead of jumping on and off or changing trains all the time, the journey is smoother, the progress more steady and faith holds a lot stronger.

You may find the ride uncomfortable at times but if you sit by the window you will feel the sun warming your face. At times the scenery may be dull but if you stay on board you will see the bright field of sunflowers around the next hilltop. And when the noisy engine overwhelms you, you will sing louder than you ever have and no one on board will mind. So it is that you begin to know the ebb and flow of life and so it is with each experience that faith holds your hand a little tighter.

When we have faith in ourselves we are able to move through life with equanimity. We accept life's fluctuations and are able to make conscious choices within everything we choose to do and say and think and feel. We trust that everything is as it should be.

Yoga takes us to that faith in ourselves. Although the journey requires faith, it gives us the faith we need. As with yoga, discipline is required but yoga gives us that discipline, we need strength for yoga, but yoga gives us that strength.

And so, it is the practise of yoga that gives you the faith to moves towards and keep moving towards your true self and if we then embrace the challenge and surrender to the infinite possibilities that it offers, yoga is like a train ride that never has to stop and it takes you closer to your true self with each passing mile. 

Strike, you're out

Warning: this is a rant!

South Africa has been in the throes of a public service strike. I understand that civil servants, who make a country run, need to earn a living wage. I don't understand why teachers at private schools, who earn a decent salary, need to strike. Nor do I understand how striking workers could deny an injured man access to Chris Hani Baragwanath Hospital after he was the victim of a hit-and-run accident.

This really happened. Yesterday, my housecleaner's son was run over by a car, which didn't stop (great karma to that driver...) A concerned bystander dragged the inert man into a minibus taxi and took him to hospital, where he was told they couldn't go inside for treatment. This is a poor man, not one who has private health insurance, and certainly not one who has enough money to pay the deposit at a private hospital. He may die. The striking healthcare workers made sure of that. To me, it is not OK to deny the sick and injured access to treatment while you are on strike, because the death and suffering that results accrues to your karma.

Today, please send a prayer or thought to this man, as his mother tries to arrange treatment for him.

PS: If you are wondering why I am still a bit erratic on the blogging front, it's because I am disinclined to be online right now, as it seems to make me anxious, but I am thinking of you all in between teaching teaching teaching!

Suffering and the Self

Yesterday, someone made a disparaging comment about my appearance. It really hurt my feelings. In fact, I am still thinking about it today - one little offhand comment has caused over a day of suffering for me.

Why? Well, in yoga terms, probably because I am afflicted with asmita, I-ness or ego, one of the obstacles to clear sight that the Yoga Sutra refers to as klesas. I am very concerned about how people see me, whether people approve of me, my physical appearance. It is the source of a great deal of my mental suffering. Things have, of course, improved with the advent of a yoga practice, but that is not to say my problems have disappeared. It's just that these days, when I have a 'fat day', I know that I really feel tired, or down, or drained. I still can't find anything to wear on those days, though. So I am a bit more aware; baby step number one?

The real problem is that I am not at all certain who 'I' am: my self-identity is wrapped up in feedback from others, in my job, in my mind, in all those outside things, and the sense of true clear Self comes through only occasionally and not always that comfortably. It is far more comfortable to stay in the established habits and patterns, even if, like worrying about my appearance, they mostly cause pain.

It's gonna be a long journey. I'll send postcards!

Waiting to inhale

I am struggling with internet access, it is sooooo slow, so I will try to get up to date with reading all my fave blogs and comments, but right now, it ain't really happening.

When Husband and I were on holiday last week, we were in a place with clean air, quiet roads and calm surroundings: all the things Johannesburg lacks. As we drove back into the city, a stinky cloud of smog descended on us, and I started to feel like I couldn't breathe in. It got worse when I walked through my front door to be assaulted by a mountain of urgent Things to Do.

So I had a look at my actual breath: if I keep saying I feel like I can't breathe in, what is actually happening?

This, as it turns out:

Inhale, Exhale. Hold, hold, hold, hold, hold GASP for the next inhale.

What a good reminder that if you feel overwhelmed, go first to your breath, because breath and emotions are so closely linked. Since I have been deliberately inhaling, I feel, basically, like I can breathe in again!

Hope you all have a lovely week.
Breathe easy.