Sunday, March 25, 2007

My (not so) secret journal

When I was little, I had one of those diaries with a teensie little lock to keep prying eyes out. I lost the key after about two entries. I tried my hand at journal keeping again in my early twenties, when I was living in London. I wrote sporadically in a black notebook for a few months, then gave up. When I re-read the entries later, they reeked of despair; probably because I was in a strange city, an unhappy relationship, and dealing with the grief of a close friend's suicide. Not a great combo for upbeat writing.

A few years ago, as part of my preparation to become a yoga teacher, I undertook a year-long vibrational healing course. There was journaling. I sucked at it. I know all the stuff about how healing the practice can be, but I just can't seem to sustain the momentum.

The truth of the matter is this: I have always felt a little silly writing for an audience of one. This blog represents my longest-standing record of my thoughts ever. And it continues because someone else reads it (I hope!)

I would love to know how you feel on this topic!

6 comments:

Cupcakes & Yoga said...

I definitely read it and I enjoy reading it. I'm a journaling FREAK! I love to write, it's just very cathartic for me whether someone reads it or not but it does feel nice to know if others read it and can relate.

Regina Clare Jane said...

I recently got out my little diary from my teenage years and when I perused it, I found myself laughing! The things I worried about back then! Having said that, I have not been able to keep a real journal going in my grown-up years- my blogs seem to have taken the place of actually writing in a journal. I find when I am writing something out, I can't seem to express myself as easily as I can when I type things out for my blogs... and I think you may have hit the nail on the head, Nadine. Having someone else possibly reading what I post and then having comments on that post that may offer me some encouragement or advice, well, that's what keeps me going. It's the sharing part of it, I guess, that I long for and enjoy so much. When I think about it, as a young girl, I thought that I had all these secrets and no one could ever relate... now as I am older, I realize that we all have the same problems basically and there's nothing to hide anymore- so why not share?
I have learned so much from you just in the short time and I so appreciate your expertise and guidance on many of my posts- and yes, I will continue to read you!
xo

Health Bites said...

I am honestly the same. I like blogging because of the interaction. I could never keep a journal. I couldn't even an Art Diary when at Art School. By the time I go to write, I've lost the thoughts and go blank. Very strange. Blogging seems to be different and yep, maybe because there is an audience of sorts. I'd love to see what other people think.

Sorry, not sure how I came to your blog but I like your writing :-)

Danura said...

I know what you mean! I was also on and off writing silly stuff and never went back. I was abit apprehensive before i started blogging. When i started teaching yoga, i felt that i just had so much to share with my students as i learn new things.

A fellow blogger persuaded me to open my own blog. I must say i got so addicted to it when i first started out. Now i only wish i had started sooner :)

Linda (Sama) said...

the blog has become the modern journal, and somehow it just seems easier to me because I type faster than I can write!

I began my blog to record my trips to India to study yoga, but have found that it has morphed into something much more profound (at least to me, don't know about the readers), because yoga is about LIFE -- yoga IS life and that is what I am writing about, my life.

However, for my next trip later this year, for the first time I will be taking a journal with me. It is handmade, even the paper itself, that I bought at an arts fair. The leather cover is a rich, rough burgundy that will only develop a richer patina and the paper retains its organicness.

The creator of these journals had many on his table but I was drawn only to this one. I picked it up, immediately felt an energy, and at the same time I got a picture in my mind of me sitting on the steps of a Shiva temple, writing in it. I told the vendor -- an artsy neo-hippie type -- "this may sound weird, but...." He said, "it's not weird in my world..." Mine neither....

shanti

Nadine Fawell said...

Aww, girls! I feel all gooey inside.
Thank you for your thoughts: now I know for certain why I blog!
I enjoy reading other people's thoughts as much as I do recording my own. I agree, we are all pretty much in the same boat. No real secrets.